March 2018
What
you know if you are an Allison girl
Growing up in every family there are
things you just know. In our family we
learned the basic things but also a lot of specific things that are just
“us.” Some of these things applied only
in childhood and some applied through our whole lives.
These are some things you know if you
are an Allison girl:
About
Farming:
Supper in the field is more fun if you
are taking it than if you are getting it.
Packing it up, delivering it, talking to the workers while you eat –
fun. Driving truck or combine all day,
can’t wait to go for supper and use the bathroom, supper is delivered – not
fun.
My father could never believe that it
is possible to be driving along harrowing and suddenly realize that there is no
harrowing anywhere around you or that there is harrowing all around you. To my
father this was an unbelievable situation.
Not just because we had obviously not been paying attention but because
the land looked so different before and after, to me and my sisters, not always
so much. But we learned, land and soil
are beautiful and full of change and of incredible value.
Farming is a business
Anything a boy can do a girl can do
When you see the lights of the combine
coming in the driveway get upstairs.
About
asking questions
Our house had one of those marvelous
attics with a full stair case. It was
full of interesting things but it was basically off limits. We learned if you want something from the
attic - ask while mom is reading.
Actually asking while mom is reading worked for a lot of things.
If Dad says no do not ask a second
time. My father usually got the
groceries. If you were lucky you got to
go with him. Sometimes he would give you
a dime to spend. With that dime you
could buy a chocolate bar or a collection of candies. Two caramels for a penny, a dime for a pixie
stick etc. Now I think about it, it was
all probably a math lesson. Anyhow, if
you asked for a dime and dad said, “Maybe or We’ll see.” You could not ask again. If you asked a second time the answer was
no. But if you waited you must just get
a dime.
About
Teaching
There is no moment that is not a
teaching moment. My mother is a teacher
by profession; my father is a teacher by nature. Don’t ask a question if you don’t have time
for the long, full answer.
My mother gently taught and retaught us
skills, sewing, knitting, printing, reading, and writing speeches. (She may not
like this one, I am not standing still with 3x5 inch cards in my hand.)
Dad will tell you or teach you what he
has decided you need to know. He will do
it completely and effectively. It does
not matter if you already know, or if you do not have time or if the lesson is
killing you.
The farm tour, that is offered whenever
you were home for the weekend is fun, you will learn a lot. It is even better if you can get your husband
and children to go on the farm tour while you stay in the kitchen and talk to
mom.
If someone in our family does not try
to teach you something or explain something to you today you just got lucky.
About
Children and Parents
We learned that children are precious
and beautiful. Spending time with
children is not wasted time but time well spent, and there might be a chance to
teach them something. Mom’s
grandchildren are the best, smartest and well you get the idea. She actually once said to me, totally
seriously, “I feel sorry for people whose grandchildren are not as amazing as
mine.”
Dad and Mom supported us in all of our
endeavors. They attended uncounted
recitals, concerts, 4-H events, and even some sporting events. I was shocked when after Mavis graduated my
mother said, “Now. I never have to go to a band concert again.” What? She had never in any way indicated she
was less than thrilled to attend.
Meals together are important. Meals should be served at 7:30, 12:00 and
6:00. Well that’s what may dad
thought. My mom was more on a 7:30,
12:10 and 6:10 schedule.
About
Character
At one time we thought we could save a
bit of money by tricking the phone company.
There was a pay phone in the hallway at school. We would use it to call for a ride home. If you did not have change you could call
collect. The operator would then ask
whoever answered the phone if they would accept the charges. Well we thought if we phoned, the person who
answered at home, would know it was time to pick us up and they could just not
accept the charges. My father said that
was not right, we were using the service and not paying for it. I have a poster in my classroom that says,
“Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.” My parents are the model couple for
integrity. Doing the right thing is the
only choice even if the wrong thing is easier or saves money or makes you look
good.
One excuse that was never ever allowed
in our family was being scared. I
suppose that being scared was allowed, you could be whatever you wanted inside
your head just you should not show it.
Fear was never a reason for not doing what you wanted to do or more
specifically what you were told to do.
Scared to walk past the cows in the barn, “just get over here.” Scared to pull the truck into the shed when
dad says now there is about 1 inch clearance on each side so be careful, don’t
even flinch. Scared to walk into the
dark shed and find the light switch and turn it on, do not admit it. Nervous
about giving a speech, going to camp, going away for 9 months, heading to
University, discuss it with mom. She
will be compassionate and understanding but the objective will not change, you
will give the speech, go to camp, move away.
Believe you can and then you can was the message although they never
used any such phrase. How I word it in
my head is, “Steely determination over abject fear.”
When we goofed up or made an error my
father was known to say, “You are smarter than that.” It is hard to know if that statement is
encouraging or demoralizing. Another of
his sayings, “Use your brain,” fits in the same category.
The same person who has amazing
patience in most situations can have none in other situations. Nuff said
Have
faith in God.
Making
people wait for you is impolite. Be on
time, every minute you are late is multiplied by how many people were waiting,
5 minutes late 12 people waiting you just wasted an hour of other people time.
In a buffet line don’t dither, everyone wants their supper too.
A
teacher I work with met dad at Boundary Trails Hospital. She said to me your father is so proud of
you, well, all of you. He had told her I was one of his 5 daughters who all
have a University Degree. Yes, our
parents proud of us. My father likes to
tell people he meets that he has 5 daughters who have 6 University Degrees.
There is a song for
that
There
is a song for every situation and thought and word. Between my parents I don’t think there is
ever a time when they could not find lyrics to go with what was happening.
Upset
about a boyfriend – This Achy Breaky Heart
Polishing
your boots – These Boots Were Made for Walking
Good
morning – Good morning Sunshine, Oh what a beautiful
Time
for bed – Good Night Irene, Day is done,
Too
much work – Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen
Mom
especially loves to sing anytime there is a chance.
My
parents danced and square danced together at every opportunity. It was a date, time with friends and later
grandchildren and a bit of exercise.
About Remembering
My
mother has a beautiful memory. I want
her kind of memory. She says with total belief you girls were always so
good. She believes this! Did you know
this winter was the nicest one ever with almost no really cold days? She sees
and remembers only the good. Amazing!
Conclusion
People
liked to assume that my father would have liked to have had a son. He never made us feel that way. And my mother always insisted he was so
pleased with us and proud of us he never felt that way.
So
to recap what the Allison girls know
·
Farming is a business, land
needs to be valued
·
Ask questions - at the right time
·
Children are precious and
wonderful
·
Being a parent is important
and fun
·
Be proud of your children
·
Never miss an opportunity
to teach something
·
Steely determination
triumphs over abject fear
·
Integrity matters
·
You are smart, act like it
·
Remember the good things
·
Dance and sing
Oh,
and one more thing you know when you are an Allison girl: When you are home for
the weekend or at a family gathering, smile sweetly and answer if someone calls
you your sister’s name. The name isn’t
important. The wonderful people who knew you growing up and want to speak to
you are important.
Happy
Anniversary Mom and Dad,
Thank
you for what you taught us.
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